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VolgaVolga: the person and the chat

VolgaVolga, editor-in-chief Lesbiru.com, is a complicated person. She appeared at “The Pink Board” in 1998, and at once got everybody’s attention with her special manner of writing and digging humor. People there could recognize her by her style whatever nick she used. Her project VolgaVolga was the first lesbian page in the Runet, that became one of the first satellites of Gay.Ru later, having founded the basis of lesbian Runet.
Nowadays, she’s leading not only National Russian Lesbian Portal LesbiRu, but a whole bundle of other serious projects also. For the five years that she’s been VolgaVolga nobody interviewed her, so we decided to fix that regrettable mistake.

Q. What in your job bothers you most of all?
A. Imagine - I’m incognito in a unfamiliar company and start to pick up a girl. This time somebody proclaims that I’m VolgaVolga, and as I feel ready for a light petting, that girl gets closer to my ear and whispers: “Tell me, why can’t I get registered at your chat?” :)

Q. How often do they mix you and your chat?
A. They do it all the time. They don’t care of that I created a huge popular portal (first – LesbiRu, then – LesbiruCom), specific satellite sites, different message boards – and that’s all about lesbians! But they only know my chat that was made in five minutes at an outside server and named after me...

Q. What was the hardest thing when creating LesbiRu?
A. To create completely original content. Not an article was borrowed from anywhere. And I treat this fact as our greatest advantage. Till LesbiRu came, there was only one big server in Runet – GayRu, but it covered lesbian problems too superficial. There were nothing valuable there, just nothing but “Pink Discussion Board” and some reproduced articles from polish magazines. As for us, we cover all the range – from self-identification to sports, and for now our resourses are beyond any competition, when talking about quality, reliability, size and exclusiveness.

Q. Are you pleased with lesbian public mentality?
A. Sure. For the ten months that LesbiRu exists we’ve broken a number of stereotypes (even among lesbians). First of all I speak about acknowlegdement and reabiltation of butches. Before that a man-looking woman was considered a she-male and was the talk of a town for everyone who criticized lesbians. It was a shame to be a butch even among lesbians that time! Can’t believe it? Well, then we made it good. :) Sure, there always were butches, but now – thanks to LesbiRu – their got their present status and rather likely image. As for United States... this process took much longer and was much more morbid. We also managed to bear a stream of accuses saying that we “don’t like bisexuals”. Now we separate it: our portal is intended for lesbians. If you show your interest in our articles – we’ll welcome you to tell your opinion and we’ll appreciate it whatever it is, but we won’t let you force your ideas about correct lesbians upon us.
Also we got the first real literature portal. We introduced our readers to good literature and improved quality of this specific genre. The portal VolgaVolga started with lesbian prose long ago and still it takes one of the key poisitons.
As for FTM (Female-To-Male) Russian Transgender – it’s been a year ago when nobody knew what is it. And now people got qualified in this sphere too.

When we’ve been creating our lesbian photographical project we faced an amazing fact – there are no professional photographs here in Russia that would work in this field seriously. There are different speculations, far-fetched lifeless trumpery and epatage. And what we found in contrary is something real and alive done by amateur photographs, but this shots won’t be published in Web, just in our magazine.

Generally, we were the first to discuss many problems of modern russian lesbians – just have a look at our topic list, you won’t find such a wide range of topics anywhere you look it for (I mean only specialized websites, not reference directories). LesbiRu is the breakthru for russian-speaking lesbian web community. But for there’s no one to cheer for it (except ourselves), we’ve celebrated it closely. It all always was and will be maintained only by enthusiasm of two persons – me and Vdova.

Q. How many concurrent projects do you have?
A. That’s ridicule! How can you call them “concurrents” when all they do is yesterday’s stuff? I don’t wanna to reproach with them – I only wanna notice that there are a lot of topics that our portal doesn’t cover for awhile , so go cover them, get an expert in a new area. Nobody has a doubt that to keep the beaten track repeating what we’ve already said and done is the easiest thing to do.

Q. What are your plans for the nearest future?
A. Soon we’ll run some new projects. The main one is the first full-coloured lesbian magazine. As soon as we finish registering it we’ll declare how one can sign up for it.

Q. What helps you to keep your project alive financially?
A. Our internet-projects - completely private and exist our account to. In Russia of no lesbian organizations, which financed web sites for lesbians, no state programs of support. The wages of me and Vdova at our on official working places. As you see, our employers pay us not for our lesbian projects. But that’s our jobs what helps us keep our hobby project on. Almost nobody knows that after a full working day we often sit by our PCs through the night and in the morning we go back to our jobs the way it’s meant to be. Such emeregency job at our site as two nights without a sleep in a row were very frequent when LesbiRu was starting. We’ve been writing, editing, html koding, uploading our materials all by ourselves... It’s natural that something didn’t work the way it ought to be so we had to fix and remake it many times. For the first time we tried to draw some organizations into working with us but neither female nor feminist nor lesbian organizations didn’t support or help us. No sponsor – even a poor one – came to support us with at least monthly internet dialup fee. Then me and Vdova, we understood that it’s all – just like in our slogan – “all in our hands”. And in our brains, of course.

That’s why we always get grated when we face a consumer attitude to our project. I know what it looks like. Here is an nice-looking interesting lesbian server with heavy traffic, and some people come there with their pretensions - “give me this or that thing – else I’ll write to UNO about that National Lesbian Portal restricts my lesbian rights”. I wanna tell these people: we owe you nothing, girls. :)

Q. Recently we’ve seen ads on your pages. Was it forced by the circumstances?
A. For a long time we’ve been preparing ourselves for throwing some expenses on our advertisers. Agree that just putting a banner on your page ain’t an advertising but it’s parody. We manage effective unusual advertising campaigns, by this letting our readers get necessary and useful information. And we’re in charge for our ads. At LesbiRu you’ll never see ads of public houses, whores, pornographies or some other shady things.

Q. Have the public status of lesbians in Russia changed during ten last years?
A. It’s for sure changed though not as much to treat is a big success. What really changed is women themselves. They got more independent and free. As for lesbian community – it got more educated and united – hence it became stronger.

Q. Though there is a pseudo-lesbian russian group “TATU” and society treats lesbains much more tolerant than gays, though there’re a lot of uncovered gays among singers there’s still no one uncovered lesbian to say: “I won’t let anyone offend lesbians at my presence!”. Why?
A. Hey, just you try to say something lesbian-offensive to Frida! She’ll nearly kill you. :)
And as for those you hint at – they believe in their naivety that their private life is just their own business and that their fans should know nothing about them but their creative work.
But as it’s impossible I think it’s very important for public people to inform mass media about themselves – then they can preserve their images and hold the initiative. Anyway there are things you can’t hide. Coming out of a public person is more then just action. It’s a chance for thousands of other people – simple and not famous – to tell their parents and friends: “See, I’m neither sick nor pervert, there are many people like me and even some celebrities that you like, know, trust and hold as an example are like us!”. Celebrities got their authorities. And still it goes like this. The mother of a friend of mine tells her not to listen to a some russian female singer (guess why). See, she’s read in “Express gazeta” that this singer is drug-addicted, lesbian, alien and monkey (in russian sounds as "narkomanka-lesbiyanka-inoplanetyanka-obezyanka"). Sure, the mother doesn’t trust such newspapers too much but – “there’s no smoke without a fire”, and she’s got only one child, and hor her child that singer is a real authority. But if the mother read an interview with the mother of that female singer that tells what it’s like to be a mother of a lesbian, she’d understand it and it could get her and her daughter much closer. By the way, it’s a good idea for an article. J

As for me – I’ve always been proclaiming that LesbiRu is ready to give anybody a word for such statements and to make a celebrity’s coming-out as much comfortable as it just could be.

Q. What do you update LesbiRu not as frequently as before?
A. Oh my!.. When GayRu had updated their lesbian section two times a year – and there were no indignations. For the first half-year we published new articles twice a week, and now as information hunger got down we update it about once per one week and update ain’t that large as it used to be. We just keep the best for our magazine.

Q. What do like in your work upon LesbiRu best of all?
A. No stupid bosses and other freaks believing that you should follow their advises. It’s really great to do whatever you want, to select your colleagues by yourself and to contact to your sympathizers.

Q. Are always so hard when it’s about your work?
A. Medical Institute where I learnt taught me to take charge of other people on myself, to make quick decisions and to demand implicit obedience if it’s about where I’m skilled.

Q. You always write about medicine with some special tenderness...
A. Actually I hate hospitals, I hate diseases, I hate smell of misery itself and revealed physiologics of disabled people also... I spent half of my life being at hospitals. Yet as I child I visited after my classes visited the hospital my granny worked at. Later – in high school – I worked as a junior nurse. When at my Institute I worked there as a nurse. Nighttime for a duty, daytime for my classes. Why medicine? Actually I wanted to be a hair-dresser... :) Our form master nearly fell down in a faint when heard about it for I was an excellent student. She demanded from my mother to make me change my choice. Another thing to chose the Medical Institute were great granny’s dinners that she cooked ih her hospital. There almost were almost no other decent colleges in my town also (I didn’t want to be a teacher, that was the alternative), so I decided to be a stomatologist.

Q. What was the hardest thing then?
A. To overcome myself. Some people say “I’’m afraid of view of blood”, but what I was afraid of was not blood but misery. I’ve been training myself to be in an operating-room just like I was a hamster. First I stood at the corridor by the door – till my heart gets calm, then entered the operational room and stood behind other students lookng at birds on trees through a window as if there was no corpse upon the operating-table. Then I got used to it.
Now I often get shocked when see people that don’t know easiest things to do so I always feel ready to write about applied medicine aspects. Sometimes I wanna scream: “It’s so easy! Don’t die because of your ignorance!”

Q. What do they study at Dentistry Faculty?
A. They study everything. But more briefly than they do at other medical specialists - internists, pediatricians. The hardest subjects for me were surgery, psychiatry and criminal medicine. When at psychiatry I once was locked up in a violent male section of a psycho clinic – they lock it up like a prison – and when at criminal medicine I was asked to take part in corpse dissections I demarched deliberately. :)

Q. It’s hard to picture you at barricades waving a streamer...
A. Yeah, that’s not mine. J

Q. Is it important for you to be a leader?
A. That’s something different. I don’t like to obey. Can’t stand when they try to force me somebody’s “expert opinion”, that actually doesn’t worth a rap.

Q. There is an opinion that VolgaVolga is a cynical person. Moreover, they say you’re wicked. Does that match reality?
A. See, I’m just a human like all of us. But – for some incomprehencible reasons - my real intelligent look and mild manners let some people feel a strong desire to write “F**K” on my forehead. Just to see how wil I react. The problem is not in me. There’s a sort of people that when visiting theatre or concert with a bottle of beer in one hand and a cellular in another can say aloud: “Imagine, that’s soooo boring!”
Lesbians are very complicated people. But they interest me and I love them really. Else I’d left it all long ago.

Q. Some girls ask – how do you moderate your message boards at LesbiRu? They complain of you...
A. They should read the rules more carefully when they enter my message boards. Again, I keep on telling that I’m not the only person to moderate our boards. There are some people to do it; as for me, I read messages not too oftenm about a couple of times a week for I almost got no time. Again, think for yourself: when moderation is as hard as ours it’s really interesting to read messages. People feel free to write more, ‘cause they’re not afraid that their messages will drown in a sea of useless stuff. One can feel that we gradually form our community, don’t we? I ain’t gonna defend myself. If you don’t like it, you can make your own forum. Their invitality is proved by many examples. In England, their cultivate their real lawn grass for centuries, so what do you want?..

Q. You said that lesbian sites are your hobby. What’s your profession now?
A. Web technlogies. But in past I also much years concerned with a journalism. So much for much helps in work on Lesbiru.com.

Q. Something related to medicine?
A. In no way. After graduatling from Institute I was invited to a prestigeous FM-station, where I’ve been copy writing texts. I worked there as an editor and journalist for several years. By the way, in 1994 I had my first article in Cosmpolitan. It used to be very prestigeous edition that time – because there were no other magazines, I believe. At least in the provinces. Then I had a serious TV project and had to study some new professions – and not theoretically but in practice. That was a good school for me. Since then I’m bound to mass media, advertising and public relations inseparately. And I find it very interesting.

Q. And then came Internet...
A. Internet had went into my life long ago. Actually, first there was FIDO, then the Net. Just as I saved up a big cash to buy a PC, Runet started his growing. Who could think that time that my hobby could baecome my profession? Then I was offered a job in an other city. So I left my town. Forever.

Q. Don’t the gossips of your ex-girlfriends bother you?
A. What can I say? Their today lives are probably filled with memories of me. By the way the worst thing they could do they’ve already done – coming-out at my job, bad fame running ahead of me and so on. I only have to relax and enjoy it. :)

Q. What was your first impression by moscow lesbians?
A. I came to Moscow in autumn of 1999 with a mission related to my TV job. The morning when my train was driving up to Paveletsky Railway Station radio said about an dwelling house explosion at Kashirka. My colleagues whose flat I stopped at lived in a couple of blocks away from that dwelling house. During the week I’d spent in Moscow we were alarmed and evicted out of our house several times. Just picture this: sleepy children, old women in their slippers, firemen, ER’s, cynologists with their dogs... The yard was cordonned off, checking out for an explosives took as long as three hours... Briefly – that mission was a bad one, it was terrible to feel danger all the time. Citizens wandered about streets of Moscow; even men felt free to cry that time. That troubled time I met those that I knew only by our message board. I was happy just like a child; they treated me good, questioned me, invited for bed-and-breakfast, showed me Moscow... For the first time in my life I’d seen so many lesbians simultaneously and it seemed to me that all of them were very kind and sympathetic people. But as I got home and returned to the message board I found that they’d already discussed me, sticked a label upon me and sent me to junk. That’s famous Moscow snobbery... That was my first cold shower when talking about “universal sister love”.

Q. And now – after several years of living in Moscow – did your relationship with lesbians change?
A. Of course it did. First, I got acknowledged not only to garish iceberg top but to a big number of really clever, gifted and intelligent persons. I got a lot of friendly contacts.

Q. How did you get to know Vdova?
A. She’s a stubborn maniac – just like me. :) I think if we haven’t met in St-Petersburg, we’d cross our ways in some other place. Without her LesbiRu would never exist... Many other things would never exist without her, too.

Q. People say you and girls you interview have close relations...
A. It comes off this way. There’s no an accidental person in our interviews – just those that really interest me. With some of them I got really close relations. By the way, we haven’t published all of our interviews. And I thank my Destiny that brought me together with these beautiful talented women.

Q. What female features attract you?
A. Being unstandardized and clever if we speak about attraction. I mean persons being really unstandardized, not bohemian affected originals that read books of crazy writers and philosophize while vomiting under their feet. I like strong women that can teach me anything new. I never feel shy about admiring at them.

Q. What do you dislike in women?
A. Being envy and stupid. If a smart woman gets envious she easily turns stupid.

Q. What about wishes to your readers?
A. Feel free to show your initiative. If you wanna tell us about anything – you don’t need to ask me: “May I tell...”, just write it down and mail us. If you feel confident in journalism, in you’re fluent in a foreign language or if you’re skilled in photography – create LesbiRu with us. There’s a lot work to do.

Readers’ questions from VolgaVolga messageboard and VolgaVolga chat (June, 10)

Q. Hello, dear Volga! I’ve read somewhere that you’ve been working as a doctor. Tell me if you ever managed to save someone’s life like in “ER” or in some other way. I think it’s a very responsible profession. What are you now – professionally, do you like your current job? Thanks in advance!
A. Hello there. Here in Russia we won’t have it like in “ER” for at least twenty years J. I work at therapy and twice or more have saved people with asthmatic status. Generally, it was okay to work there. And I like what I do now. Thanks for your question!

Q. Why there at LesbiRu you don’t have a TV section (program announces etc.)? Movies and shows about lesbians are often on air, but I usually hear about them only after they end. Do you know that Hotbird satellite broadcasts specialazed channel GayTV with talk shows and movies. Many people just don’t know about that channel and satellite antenn costs not too much...
A. Our visitors already have answered your question – let me quote: “Why doesn’t LesbiRu make their own movies and run their own TV channel LesbTV? How long will we be in that information blockade?! Give us lesbians on our blue screens! And why you still haven’t invited Gina Gershon to Russia and haven’t slept with Ellen DeGeneres? You could make photoreports out of it... So why you still haven’t done this??" :) Actually, I remember that you’ve asked me that question once before and now I tell you what I told you that time: lead this section and we’ll give you job at LesbiRu.

Q. Why you do what you do? What it gives you?
A. It’ interesting for me. I think that can in this will completely be realized.

Q. How often do you visit your chat? What excites you best of all?
A. I’m visit my chat rarely. Each time I’m there I amaze how many people are there – and quickly leave. When having free time I enjoy writing letters. As for excitation.... Pretty butch in male underwear. :)

Q. How often do your fans try to get you? What is the most popular reason for that? How does your girfriend react to it (if you have one)?
A. My fans get me not too often ‘cause all my free time I spend on LesbiRu. However there are seasonal aggravations. As for my girlfriend – she upgrades her boxing skills.

Q. You’re the one of ideologists of modern lesbian movement. Do you feel yourself an unofficial leader? What are your relations with Evgenia Debryanskaya?
A. Stop that! This movement hardly exists – just name a single political party supporting lesbians and having uncovered lesbians among its leaders. Or name a single russian lesbian public organization that would do their activity basing not on foreign finances but on their own, or name newspapers, magazines, lesby-centers, serious public state performances where lesbians would be equal to other participants in their rights. Can’t name a single one?? No one. The same I say. Still, all we have is a powerful and dynamically growing mass media – LesbiRu.com, that gathers certain people around. And that’s quite enough.
As for Evgenia... I respect her as a person that was first to speak about lesbians ten years ago – but still I don’t see her concrete activities. Club parties are surely a serious business but such parties are all around now. That’s why we’ve never crossed our ways though we’ve met three years ago... I think that time such people, as Jenya, beyond hope pass. Presently grow up other generation of dykes, targeted not on the usage before the West own "oppressed lifestyle" as a way earning, but independent, clever, initiative and bold beside itself on the Native land, rather then in successful emigrations. Excluding a single case when I asked her to appear on MTV Russia istead of myself. See, we had no real cause to meet each other. Sorry, I must add: she appeared there not as a singer but as night show guest. :)

Q. What do you need to walk thru your life resolutely?
A. To walk thru you’ll need feet. The more the better. When I’m sixty I’ll change to caterpillars... :)

Q. How can I get to know you closer? I think we’ve something to talk about...
A. You know my e-mail: volgavolga@mail.ru

Q. How old are you?
A. Teenage hypersexuality is left behind, climax and marasmus are still yet to come. Also, plastic surgery can do magic now... :)

Q. What would you say if you know that your child is homosexual?
A. I’d worry... That’s not an easy way.

Q. What do you think of men?
A. What do you mean? If you mean erotic - they don’t excite me. If you mean everyday of life – I’d shoot a couple of male neighbours their balls off... :) However, a couple of female neighbours too...

Q. Your girl leaves for a girl, your girl leaves you for a man. Will your reaction be the same?
A. What will change is my conclusion. I had only one girlfriend who in a fit of anger after we broke up said that she’ll “never again will deal with women and gonna marry a man like all usual girls do”. Though I met her in a year together with another my ex.

Q. How many famous women in Russia conceal their homosexuality?
A. If they do – how can I know about their homosexuality? :)

Q. What do you think about it?
A. That’s their choice.

Q. Do you have your own civil position? Are you interested in politics?
A. Yes, I got my own civil position. I think it’s seen at LesbiRu.Com. As for politics... let’s leave it for politicians until it runs counter to common sense – then our civil position is to proclaim it.

Q. How do you picture your typical reader? Do you see your readers?
A. Yeah, our typical reader periodically materializes real at my doorway. I like my readers.

Q. I got a feeling that you’re a mythical person. Do you really exist or you live just online?
A. I’m the chat. :)

Q. People say you’re wicked. They say also you’re heterosexual. Why do they say? Are there any excuses for that?
A. Sometimes I wear Elvis style and frigthen breast babies by singing rap. :)

Q. Leave me an address to send flowers, money and girls to. :)
A. volgavolga@mail.ru . I prefer ox-eye daisies and platinum credit cards... As for girls... send me Gina Gershon and a whole large list. :)

Q. Hello! Though I don’t get to the Net often, I never waste a chance to visit your site, because... Generally, all “becauses” lead to the same thing – sincere and deep respect that I feel to you. I especially appreciate Miniatures... some of them are written as if on my behalf, other just make me live and think in a different way – more clean and better... For many times I thought to send you something I’ve written. Thanks for that you are!
A. Thanks! Send it, please. Can’t guarantee a review but if it touch us we’ll publish it.

Q. What is a marrage for you?
1. Passport stamp;
2. Extraterrestrial love;
3. Breathtaking passion;
4. Partnership;
5. or you prefer gain marriage?
A. A breathtaking passion that starts as an extraterrestrial love and becomes into partnership. As for passport stamp – we’ll fake it ourselves.

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