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Being a butch


Springing from historic origin, butch has to be strong and brave, well to do (in any terms), independent and he should never cry. 

"Yeah, that's me!" - you'll say, dropping your eyes decently, and just another pretty woman would dash into your strong arms, to present herself forever. 
In fact, being a butch means carrying a huge psychological burden. Not only naturals (men and women both) impose their attacks on the butches; many "subject-mattered" butchephobes are going to explain them how does a "right woman" has to look like: woman, wearing skirts with court shoes, not with high-shoes, not with short haircut, and, the essentials - she has to extirpate male gesticulation.

Here are the results of the Lesbiru.com' poll:

Takkata Jim, 23 years: I agree, there are more severities then in "traditional" appearance. But, frankly... extirpating butch inside - it's not worthy...you'd better "relax and get pleasure"... you have to be self-relied,
being sure in whom you are.

Cat, 27 years: You just have to come as you are, you can't compel yourself to look like others want you to. I get sheared and wear lace boots, and it's rather difficult because of people' reaction - but it's mine, I feel comfortable, and it'll be not my problem if somebody doesn't like it.

NN, 27 years: If you were born a butch - it's OK. One tries to become BUTCH like, not being a butch.

Mara, 22 years: Being a butch is cool - as well as difficult. Will you imagine norms of male, ugh, behavior (ideal, advisably), multiplying with the fact that you are a girl, and what a girl!

Ora de Montale, 29 years: Extirpating - under no circamstances! We've got to cultivate them again and again! Such a pleasure - feasting your eyes upon steadfast, strong, stylish lass. Not to mention giving in to her...

еlaidgea, 23 years: The elation, conditioned by the fact that you are a BUTCH (!), is the only foundation for enduring all that piles! At work you've got to dream up about boisterous natural life - to explain suctions, for example. Some friends, mainly not natural, are talking nonsense like "girl must be a girl". Naturals, both men and women, conceive me like unfinished newcomer from Mars. Purchasing clothes... (well, you know what I mean). PUBLIC W.C.!!! No "girls" benefits, no man privileges. Again - parent' opinion. But you can easily forget all this stuff when your sweet girl snuggles up to you and says: "mmm, you smell with weed and gasoline, it inspires me...". And she gets settled in your arms comfortably! Have a good luck!


We can divide the spheres of butch' aversion in the everyday life into several
groups:
- family
- job
- public opinion
- subject-mattered environment


FAMILY
Overwhelming majority of the parents can't imagine the situation of asking your kid what does he want to purchase in the dress shop. How many tragedies have passed, how many tears have felt because of "not right" jacket, wallet or snickers! Dressing "as a boy" doesn't always evoke a seizure. There are some parents who are just indifferent of their kids' destiny. They care only about their washing and laundering. Some girls are lucky - their parents were "dreaming about a boy" and didn't mind to blinders, panties and so on. But there are also grandmas, making efforts for the grandchild appearance.

Snoopy, 25 years: I've had some problems with my parents. My mum wanted me to wear bows and ruches, and she was dressing me up in frocks. I was crying, filching brother's trousers on the sly. Later school uniform was abolished, and everything felt into place. So now she's got accustomed. She's even accustomed to my lace boots, and she finds some charm in my appearance.

Stime, 29 years: I'm envious of those who can live, as they want to. As time goes by I become indecisive, but style "butch" is coming out from time to time. My friend doesn't hide anything - and everyone likes her. Dad was cursing for her wearing lace boots in summer, but then he's got used and valued her
according to her merits.

V., 30 years: I'm not butch but let me interrupt you. My parents were dressing me into the trousers and blinders, while I was dreaming about frocks with ruches, about long skirts and high heels. But my childhood has felt on the period of total deficit - so I've had to put wool fleshing (such a vileness) under the school uniform - not to get cold. Secondly, any feminity display until you were 18 was considered to be lecherous and inadmissible. I was dreaming about long hair which I could curl, but my mum were cutting my hair "a-la garcon" cruelly, she considered such haircut to be very fashionable. I was protesting and crying, but nobody listened to me. I mean, not only butches have problems in childhood, fems feel the same.


JOB
Freelancers and people, occupied in "creative professions", do not face any problems, concerning their appearance at the job. You can always elaborate and instill a legend, stating that creative people are over-worldly, and appear boldly in the military suit or skin-headed. Some job-offers even encourage their employees to look "creatively", apprehending it like a firm calling card. Master of style or a hairdresser, looking tediously, will hardly awake exacting customer; a tailor or designer, looking "like everyone" will perform the same order to you. It's quite another matter if you are working in the spheres like finance, sales, jurisprudence, implying everyday contact with customers stream and corresponding canons of business style. It depends on your job-offer and your salary dimension. In upscale companies a dress code is obligatory, and we can't concern woman in the trousers, colored tights, miniskirt, as well as jacket absence. In middle-class companies everyone can dress himself according to his mind and means. (A couple of separate words must be devoted to the characters, whose appearance is no longer concerned by their job-offers: usually they are rather good and intelligent officials, their only disadvantage is inability or reluctance to look after their appearance. For example, 90% of my friends-programmers are looking like mixed wood-goblin and punk-musician. And you feel lucky if they wash their hair and shoes at least ones in six months.
Such kind of officials is not usually employed at high-paid job, but they still can work at middle-class companies - holding aloof the customers).

Ebvy, 30 years: It's rather complicated, really. If you are 18-20 years old - it can be one may, especially in the unisex time. But as the time goes by it becomes more problematic. There is a job where you ought to look properly. There are disgusting neighbors, etc. All in all, you feel constraint.

Takkata Jim, 23 years: As my job concerns consulting sphere, I have to divide my clothes into two parts: "for me" - male clothes and "official" - softer variant.

Sobaka Ru: You've got to come as you are... you and your girl-friend feel good - that is an essentials. I don't care who do they thing I am. Many like my short haircut, one is shocked, one doesn't mind. My job-offers appreciate my business qualities, though they are rather homophobic. But will they try to find a specialist like me! If you are a butch, you can't act in any other way. It's not a scenic image to be changed. If you are a butch - be a butch, if you are a fem - be a fem. The point is to find your significant other.

Snoopy, 25 years: Do you ask me about how it feels - being a butch? It depends on: where you are, whom do you communicate with and how do you look like. Concerning the community, there are several variants:
1. First they are frightened, then - get accustomed.
2. They can't understand if you are a boy or a girl.
3. They don't care
4. They rot and slaughter (here you've got to punch properly).

Djem, 22 years: Easily? Perhaps, recently they've got addicted, but... or may be I'm very lucky. Rock'n'roll community has got used to everything. A guy as between friends, you know.

Lara, 23 years: I'm rather lucky - I'm an aerobics trainer and I've marked that women react towards me with great interest - if I wear clothes, emphasizing my muscular system.

Samali, 24 years: It was rather problematic on my job, they were pestering me with the ideas that my customers won't apprehend me seriously. My authorities entrusted favorable projects to other officials - they thought I would muddle clients up. I tried to explain them that I'm indulged in involving strength sports, but...so I've gone to another company and I don't regret that: it's more important to come as you are then to follow the tastes of homofobian frights.

V, 30 years: It seems rather strange that some bosses extirpate butches among their officials. If I have to choose, I will pick out an official who will be pleasant to communicate with. Of course, if she is intelligent worker, not a doll. Recently we've visited computer accessories shop and noticed suuuuch a butch in the cashier's deck... But it turned out to be a drastic exposion. First they entangled the model we've paid for, then this pseudo-butch pretended it's not his fault, and then, not being ashamed by our presence, began discussing me and my girl-friend with some guy. Saying something like "Listen, lesbians have sinked here!" So be careful, ladies, not every butch is real one.


SUBJECT-MATTERED ENVIRONMENT
After we've published a dyke-classification "Butch and fem living", lesbians started finding out who is who, and after clarifying this question they began arguing with each other how cool it is: to be this or that kind. Many, (fems most often) declared: "We are out of this classification, we are just individuals!" And they started falling on the butches. Because butches used to fit this classification. Confessing that we react towards butches with
certain trepidation, we'll not let them to be offended.

Asya, 27 years, fem: Everyone should (might) look like he wants. I do not like butches, for example. I don't know - why. May be because sometimes such butchlickness seems to be rather funny. For example, if a girl obtains feminine figure. You know, such prima Donna with 3-4 sized bust and hips, impossible to suck off. My friend has seen such a butch on the beach. Before dressing up this woman has strained hit belt, something like "corset", on her breast. The purpose was that no one could see her 3rd size... Two different things: if being a butch fits a girl - or a girl spoils her appearance, what for? To prove that you are someone else? You can do it not with the help of your appearance, I guess.

Whisper, 31 year, hetero: You know, I've got a short haircut, and my gesticulation is being rather extensive and multifarious. And I'm heterosexual. So a haircut, dress and gesticulation are not the matter. The main point is your inner sensation.

Nimpho, 20 years, bi: Since childhood I do not wear skirts, have a short haircut, hate heels and court-shoes, do not make up lips...what else... do not grow my nails...prefer male clothes... one usually regard me to be a guy in the public transport. "Hey, guy, where's your ticket?" I notice rather frequently curious glances, trying to determine my gender. My acquaintances often ask me why do I behave in such way...sometimes it becomes boring. Anyway, I've got addicted, it's my life, I'm real, and it's not my mask to be put on to let people understand that I'm not of "normal" sexual orientation. I do not think about it too much, I just do what I want to.

Snoopy, 25 years: It's not that simple with lesbians. There are piles of stereotypes, limiting some girls, and it's rather problematic to explain them that you are not a male or a bullock. Sometimes you have to conduct shock therapy like: "Darling, I want you to be on top today". May be she'll understand that my orgasm depends on her hands. All in all, it's cool - being a butch! You feel yourself more assured and strong, you face more opportunities in your life. Moreover, it's very fine and stylish. What can be better then erotic first-class butch?

V, 30 years: Butches are the best lesbians, they present a golden fund. I adore their full dress, but their special fascination consists in their breeches, vests and caps. Short haircuts and striking figures. Hands off
butches!

Acce, 17 years: I guess it's rather stupid - dividing girls into butches and fems. I know just a mass of girls who are dressed like guys - they even wear tights underneath the jeans in winter. Short hair, of course. So? They are naturals, I know them rather closely. Their only problem is private life. So butch could behave as he wishes to. Who has the right to blame them of dressing and looking in other way? Butch is a way of living, everyone has its own way.

CdM: If this poll - only for the girls with short haircut, who under no circumstances will put a skirt on - you shouldn't read further. I do not fit these canons. I've got long hair, I sometimes put long and light skirts on (although with lace-boots), and sometimes - for the negotiations, concerning serious contract. Moreover, I don't drink neat vodka. At the same time I'm strong, bold, self-dependent, well-to-do - at least, I can maintain my girl-friend without any problems. I sometimes cry. And I'm not butch, to your thinking?

Luna: Poor paltry butches - no. There are plenty of wretches among them, and don't tell me that they feel miserable - everyone feels so. May be their wretchness is just a protecting reaction out from accusations.

Tata Bamako, 30, bi: Being marginal, accompanied with various social limitations, is not easy. Stand firm, fashion is changing, and people will stop reacting towards you soon, you'll become commonplace, and what would you do? Would you dress yourself into womanish evening dresses? Or would you come as you
are?

Yaroslavna, 21 year, getero: I've answered "don't know" to the question about my orientation, and I was candid. I thought I was natural, but...it may seem funny...I've seen two movies on TV, one after another. Two lesbian stories. In both movies main heroes were the girls of the same kind: slender, buxom blondies with short haircuts, dressed up in male clothes. They were the reason of my excitement...I don't know how to explain it. In telling this I want to say that a girl with appearance, temper and worldview is rather...nice. Nice,
tempting...rousing the interest very much.

Takkata Jim, 23 years: You may even put a helmet on the head, but if you are not self-assured, you will be torturing. As for the critics from people - the main thing here is who is this person for you. If you've seen him several times, and all you know about each other - is how do you put one leg on another - isn't it strange to apprehend his critics as a guide to action? It's unlikely, so...being a butch is rather hard...but it's worthy of it.

Djem, 22 years, butch: A girl, looking at you in the way like: "he'll come and solve all my problems". "But all I want is potatoes with herring" - quotation from D. Shauff. My darlings! I'm (wanted to say "we", but changed my mind) ready to make a fuss on you and everything you want, but... Not every butch likes beaten mugs and stretched tights. We enjoy your care, endearment and comprehension...and, don't be too sure... fervent bath with fragrant oil, when you come after the job. All in all...we COMPLY WITH you, because we love you...

VolgaVolga&Vdova© Lesbiru, December 2001-2002  

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